


"is this 50 Shades of Grey"

by orphan_account



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, although it probably would have worked anyway, and that's the story of how i found out that i was asexual, but then i was like, i don't really like this, i just like words, i literally tried masturabting once, it kind of worked, there is none, through jerking off to words, true story, wait, where is the lie, while thinking about words with four syllables, yep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 12:02:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4605987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>okay, so, i got permission from Parker to do this.  He's cool with it.</p><p>Also, the title was his reaction when he first read it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"is this 50 Shades of Grey"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [how_its_going_to_be](https://archiveofourown.org/users/how_its_going_to_be/gifts).



Parker held back a tear as he sat in the room.

He wasn’t sure what type of room it was. It was just a room, to be honest. There were other people, too, but Parker couldn’t really focus on much. He’d died. He’d literally died. A spider had bitten him, and he’d had some crazy reaction and actually died.

“Parker?” 

Parker looked up. Someone had called his name from the front. He stood up shakily, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. He began walking towards the front of the room, when suddenly, he heard another voice.

“Parker?”

Parker turned around. “Huh?”

There was a hooded figure standing in the corner of the room. It nodded at the person in the front, saying, “I’ve got this one.”

The other person at the front shrugged and sat back down at the other person’s desk. [wow, a+ for creative naming, @ me] Parker turned and walked towards the hooded figure.

“Wha- um, like, what is it, that I have to, uh, do? Like… do I, um- um-“

The figure grabbed Parker’s arm and pulled him through a door that led them to a small, white room. He pulled his hood back. “Hey, you okay?”

Parker gasped. It was Nico Di Angelo! [so unpredictable!!!111!!11!!!]

“Nico?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s going on?”

“I told you I’d be here, remember? Did you think I’d let you down?”

“Well… no, but…”

“Well, okay, yeah, you still died, so that could have been avoided. But I was busy, um… doing… stuff… stuff that definitely was NOT using my dad’s phone to prank call Poseidon…”

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing. Um. So, um… back to you, I guess. Where’d it bite you, Parker?”

“What?”

“The spider?”

“Oh, um. Um. Well…”

Nico didn’t wait for Parker to finish. He grabbed his face and looked at it. He then pulled Parker’s shirt off. 

“Nico, wha-“

“Dude, chill.”

Nico kept looking around Parker’s torso to see where the bite had been. “Where is it?”

“I… I can’t show you, ‘cause it’s in the… the special spot…”

“Oh,” Nico said. He grabbed the bottom of Parker’s binder and pulled it off. “No,” he said, “not that special spot.”

Parker gasped. “I’m sorry, I- you weren’t supposed to find out, and- and- I- can I have it back? Please? I’ll put it back on, I-“

Nico shook his head. He lifted up the binder. “See this?”

“Nico, I- please, I can’t be like this in front of- in front of you, I-“

“Do you see this? See it? Look what we’re gonna do with it. We’re gonna take the binder-“ Nico paused to place the binder in Parker’s hands- “We’re gonna crumple it up-“ he paused again, grabbing Parker’s hands and using them to form the binder into a ball- “And we’re gonna take the little ball-“ he paused again [so many pauses wow] to raise Parker’s hand that was holding the binder- “And we’re gonna throw it-“ he paused again [AGAIN] and made a portal into what looked like a huge lava pit, throwing the binder through it just as it closed- “Into the pits of Hell. Because that’s where it- and anyone who doesn’t appreciate your body for what it is- should go.” 

“So, you’re okay with my, um… my…”

“Yes, Parker. I love them. I love you, your man-boobs, everything.”

He then pulled down Parker’s pants. He paused for a moment, thinking. 

“You’ve got a vagina, then, too, right?”

“Um… yeah, I guess…”

Nico smirked. He pulled down Parker’s underpants and pinned him to the ground. “That makes it easier, then.”

“What?”

“Nico looked down. “Dude, look at that. Hairy. I like that. Oh, look! Hey! There it is! There’s the- wait, *potato*, it bit your vagina? How’s that work? What were you doing that left your vagina exposed to a spider, my gosh- oh, wait. Oh. Oh, Parker’s into it. Parker is so into it. You like this stuff, don’t you?”

“Like what stuff?”

“Oh, you know. You know what, Parker?” Nico paused to pull down his pants just enough to pull out his penis. “I like it, too. A lot. So, that means that we should do it. Right now.”

“Wait, what are we doing?”

“Well, I think I’m gonna do you, if that’s okay. Unless you want me to do someone else. Your mom, maybe.”

“No, no, don’t do my mom, that’s-“

“Then we should have sex.”

Suddenly, Nico was shoving his penis in and out of Parker’s vaginal hole. [Vaginal hole. That’s a really nice phrase. Va-ginal-hole. Four syllables. Man. Vaginal hole. Va-ginal hole. That’s really pleasing. I really like that phrase. Wow.]

“What do you want me to do to you, Parker? What do you want me to do?”

“I- I don’t know, I-“

“How about I start, then? I want you to fiddle my diddle, Parker.”

“I- I want you to- to *potato* my- my duck?”

“I want you to touch my tralala! My ding-ding-dong!”

“Baby… if you- um, if you were a computer… I’d be, um, your laptop?”

“I wanna- oh, *potato* it. I just wanna have sex.”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

“Yeah, but- hang on, be quiet. It’s better in quiet.”

“What?”

“Oh, shut up, Parker-“ Nico stopped talking to smash his lips against Parker’s [I have no idea how to write kissing scenes sorry]. Smash, smash. Lips smashing against each other. Doing the face-smushy makes you feel gushy-gushy. Looky, looky, doing the smushy. Smash. Kiss, kiss. KISS. Parker and Nico, sitting in the afterlife. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love. Then comes the sex scene that will now continue.

Nico kept thrusting into Parker’s vaginal hole [VAGINAL HOLE]. Suddenly, Parker’s hole was filled with cum. Semen. Whoop whoop. Nico did the orgasm. Parker did the orgasm. Pleasure was everywhere. Oh, gosh. The orgasm was so good. So good. [I really have to pee. I want a burrito.] So good. Such good, many great. Orgaaaaaasm. WOW! Look at that. They both orgasmed SO MUCH. YEAH! GET AT IT, PARKER AND NICO! UH! YEAH! NICE! ORGAAAASM! WOW!

Nico rolled off of Parker, pulling his pants back on. He sighed happily.

“You want to go back to the other world, then?”

“I think… I think I might stay here a while, actually.”


End file.
